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Misc. stuff #2

I was able to see my nephew this past weekend on Saturday for only a few minutes because my brother in law was being a j***a** and for about five hours on Sunday. Those of you who know me and my ongoing health problems are probably shaking your heads about right now. Five hours with a 2 1/2 year old, what was she thinking? Well, I hadn't seen Tan Tan in about three weeks and I really really needed my Tanner fix. He was a good boy but auntie chrystal's house is not kid proof and he is a curious little monkey climbing on everything, opening all the drawers in the house and one time I had to pull him out from under the bed. He thought he saw my kitty Zipper under there. She was a smart girl and stayed well hidden while he was there. I felt pretty good on Saturday and Sunday.

It wasn't until he had been gone about an hour that picking him up and running around after him had caught up with me. I noticed something else after he left. The motivation to write that I had pre-Tanner visit was gone. It confirmed something that I had thought (hoped) for awhile. That my creativity is directly linked to my health. I have to admit I was getting worried. I was beginning to think that my muse was on permanent holiday. Oh, I could edit what I already had written but there was nothing new forming in my brain. So you are thinking, so what, work on what you already have. Which is good advice since I have yet to get anything in good enough shape to submit, but my creativity is a big part of who I am, and not just in my writing, in everything I do. So the thought of losing that part of myself was like losing my sense of smell. I could live without it but something would always be missing.

I have felt rotten for the last two days but feel better today so I am going to try to get some writing done. I wish I could set myself a schedule like say 1000 words a day. LOL No, better make that more realistic. 100 words a day. Pretty puny but I would be happy with that. Maybe I should say 10 words a day since I haven't been doing even that lately.

I still haven't gotten to the doctor. No insurance, no expensive tests. The college still hasn't hired me full time but I do have a job interview next week with the state that pays more. Enough to do more than barely survive. I have spent the last six months praying that any and all castrophies pass me by. Not a great way to live, I know, but we all have to do what we have to do. I'm sure that this financial stress hasn't helped my creativity any either.

I read another manuscript for The Wildrose Press on Monday. Out of the four I have read, only one is publish worthy. If the majority are nonpublish worthy, I see why they need readers. There was one that I got to the point that I just had to say 'I can't read another word' There was no plot. Just a random series of events and tons of misunderstandings (instead of conflict) that could have been fixed if one of the characters would have just said "What did you mean by that?" ugh!!!! No internal/external conflicts, etc. But I think the author has potential. The dialogue was good, her descriptions of scenes were good and her voice was good. She just really needed direction and a critique partner. Of course I need a critique partner too, but I am leaving that for later when I consistantly feel better. I don't want to let another critique partner down because I feel to bad to do my chapters or critique theirs.

Remembering Friends

These photos were taken right before my I graduated with my BS in 1998. Amber and Frankie were engaged and close friends of mine. A few months after these photos were taken, Amber was killed in a drunk driver auto accident along with Frankie’s mother. They were on their way to go visit Frankie and his father on a job in Ohio (I think). That was a horrible day for alot of people espically Frankie. His daughter was in the backseat of the car but thankfully only sustained a broken collarbone and a few other injuries. I remember taking him to the funeral home to see his mother and then to the holding place to look at her Lincoln Town Car that was so crushed it didn’t resemble a car. It just broke my heart. His father died not too long after that. So basically, except for a two year old daughter that lived in another town with her mother and friends, he was alone. I can’t imagine what that felt like.
He got married within a few years after all this happened to someone from out of state. It didn’t last long, which was no suprise to me or my sister, who was also good friends with them. I did try to keep in touch with him over the years. Sometimes to talk about Amber or other times just to shoot the shit. Where Amber was one of those people who was full of energy and life, Frankie was someone who was just a likeable, good guy. This summer he killed himself. It had been awhile since we had spoken. A few months at least. I ran into him at Wal-mart and made the usual small talk when you see someone you know and don’t really have time to stop and talk. He was in good spirits, laughing and joking. He said give me a call and I said ok but never got around to it. My sister ran herself in circles playing the what if game…what if he would have only called one of us…what if she would have called him…if she had been a good friend she would have known something was wrong.
He supposedly left a note and she was determined to know what it said. I didn’t want to know. No matter how long it was it was basically going to say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore’. I know how she feels, It is hard not to feel like I should have done something. But neither one of us could do that. If he wanted us to intervene he would have reached out. He didn’t. I know he had alot of back pain. He had had several surgeries on his back and was scheduled for another one shortly. He drank alot and there were rumors of hard drugs but I never saw him do any of that so I choose not to believe that. He fought depression and his girlfriend had just left him and went back to her ex.
What brought on this walk down memory lane? To start off, I went by the cemetery on my way to my sisters house because…well I don’t know why. I was just compelled to stop and visit Amber, her brother and Frankie’s graves. When I got to my sister’s house she told me that they are auctioning off Frankie’s property next weekend. Everything - house, acerage, tractors, vehicles and contents of the house. I don’t want to go. To see strangers pawing through my friends personal thing isn’t going to be easy for me. After all he didn’t have close family to remove the clothes, photos, personal memento that didn’t mean anything to anyone but him. I don’t think I could stand it. But then on the other hand, how can I not go? It will be a hard decision.

Character Names

How do you name your characters when you start on a new story idea? I had alot of time to think about this while I was fighting a bad cold this past weekend and had a new story idea knocking around in my head. There is power in a name. People have preconceived ideas associated with certain names. Colin, Nickolas, Gabriel, Wolfric, Dominic, Ian, Rhys all make me think of a powerful, mysterious intriguing, sexy hero.

Names that don't evoke such a manly image to me are names like Henry, Allen, Earl, Stacey, Bob, Kenny, Omar, Charles, Raymond.

Then there are the names that can go either way - Tom, John, James, Jeff, Will, Mark, Joe, Matt.

Women's names are the same. For a kickass heroine I don't want names like Mary, Anna, Jane, Laura, Ruth, Cammie. I want names like Raven, Hope, Jerica, Rhianna, Talena, Tara, Faith. Normal girls put in extraordinary positions I like names like - Olivia, Sarah, Shannon, Jenna, Rona, Traca, Emily, Rachel, Jennifer, etc.

How do I name my characters? Get ready.....I picture the character - their strengths, weaknesses, physical characteristics, the whole package and a name pops into my head. No kidding. That name is no way written in stone and I have been known to change a name if a little way into the story it just isn't working for me. I know some writers who don't name their characters until they are pretty well into their manuscript. I just can't do that. Our name defines us as much as any other part of our personality so I just go with what feels right.

I do not - absolutely not - name my characters after friends or family members. Why don't I? Well, if I name a secondary character after my mom and the character turns out to be a crack head whore. Well mom has told all of her friends - no everyone she knows that her darling daughter has written a book and she is in it. She reads the final draft and instead of being thrilled that her name is mentioned in the book, she is hurt or mad that I have embarrassed her like that. She doesn't want to be the pro ho. She wasnt to be the cool sidekick but it's too late, the book has already been turned in or whatever happens when an author gets published. Maybe crackhead whore it too harsh. (I am reassuring mom at this point that no one believes she is a crackhead whore) Say the character is a greedy, manuplative troublemaker instead. Same thing happens because even though it is fiction she is afraid that people will believe there is a little bit of truth in it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have picked that character to name after her. After all she is my mother and I should know how she really is.

At this point can anyone spell DISASTER? I don't think I can stress that strongly enough. It may work for other writers but not for me. So I name my characters the same way I write, by what feels right. All I can say to all you brave souls that walk through the minefield of naming characters after people you know, good luck with that.

Story Ideas

This picture had nothing to do with my topic but I thought it was really interesting. What exactly is he covered in? I thought at first it was mud but It may be paint. hmm, I don't know.

Where do you get your story ideas? A piece of a dream, something on the radio or news that gets the wheels turning? Something a family member or co-worker says? The list for me is endless.

A story idea or scene plays out in my head and I feel compelled to write it down. I used to immediately abandon the WIP I was working on and start a new one using the new idea. I don't have to tell you what a disaster that can be. Now I have several notebooks that I write my new ideas down in. I number the entries. I am up to number 78. Will I ever use all of them? Probably not because to tell you the truth, they're not all good. I have went back and pulled a paragraph or phrases out and incorporated them into other stories though.

Right now I am working on a WIP that I want to pitch at nationals this coming year. Earlier this week I had a suprise. A new story idea began to form in my brain. I say I was suprised because of health problems, I haven't been feeling too creative for several months. But there it was, knocking around in my head and it doesn't look like it is going to go away. I haven't written it down in my story idea notebook because I am really not sure it is something I want to pursue. I have done some research I know, I know that is a dirty word to me but the concept is intriguing to and so I am going to take it a little farther before deciding to keep it or kick it. Is it a totally new idea that no one has ever done? I doubt it. Every writer knows (even us unpublished ones) that just about anything you can think of has already been done. It is your life experiences that influence your writing and you individual voice that makes you stand out.

I wasn't going to say anything about this but I have to. I was driving to work this morning, listening to my usual radio station. They were interviewing a writer who was coming out with a new book. One of the questions that the dj asked him was if he was a 'write on a napkin kind of writer' The author said (and I think rather snidely) basically that any idea worth anything doesn't need to be written down at the time that it pops into your head because if it is a good idea then it doesn't go away.

WHAT!!! OMG Does this man live in a bubble? We all have lives-work, families, grocery shopping, laundry, stress, stress and did I mention stress? that take up alot of time and energy and frankly if I don't write down that quirky piece of dialogue when it forms in my head then the chances of me remembering it word for word are nil. If this man can actually write like that then woo hoo for him. I personally have been known to pull over to the side of the road and write on anything handy or carry my mini tape recorder with me just to get that idea down before my mind darts off to some other important item in my day. How about everyone else? How do you get your story ideas?

God's of Rain Send Some Our Way

The weather report forecasts rain for tomorrow 100%. Can't get any more definate than that. Still I won't hold my breath until it happens. My poor tulip tree, and hedges (or do you call baby hedges, hedgelets?) are suffering but suprisingly enough all of my rose bushes look good. I usually don't worry about that sort of thing but I had to get out and enjoy the day on Saturday before I watched the Sooners get creamed by Texas:(
Fall is my favorite time of the year. A time when you can still wear shorts and t-shirts or jeans and a long sleeved light weight shirt and still be comfortable. The leaves were falling off of my big trees and my fat cat was going nuts in the back yard chasing them. Apparently it was too much exercise for her because she crashed all day Sunday. I did my ususal fall/spring cleaning/rearranging furniture last weekend and this weekend. It isn't something I plan, I just get antsy and need to move things around. I got a bunch of stuff to go to the church for the garage sale this weekend though. I hate clutter and it seems like I just keep accumulating junk.
I am not going to sell my house and move at this time. I just have too many bills that need to be paid from me not working steady the last six months. Besides, I only have a year until my house and car are paid for so you guys are stuck with me for awhile.
I read two full manuscripts for Wildrose Press this weekend. I really think it is helping me with my own WIP, although I tend to have tunnel vision and not be able to see my own mistakes sometimes. I don't have a critique partner right now. It didn't work out with the last one but one of the OKRWA members said it took her two years to find the one that fit her. I will keep looking but I haven't felt all that great in the last few months so I will probably hold off on that for awhile.

Have been feeling under the weather this week and working longer hours at work, trying to work on the house some and have been doing some partial reads for Wildrose press. The manuscript evaluations are actually harder than I thought they would be. The questions they ask have made me reevaluate my own WIP's (yes there are multiple ones) to see if they suffer from the same problems as the authors I am reading. It is kind of a relief knowing that the authour isn't reading the evaluation. I don't want to discourage anyone from writing or be too negative about their manuscript. The way it is set up, the editor is the only one who reads it so I don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings. I can say 'this doesn't work for me because...' or 'I really like this authors voice but the characters have no depth', etc. It is a new experience for me but I wanted it so that I would know how my own manuscripts are being evaluated. Or maybe I should say I would know how my own manuscripts are being evaluated if I actually sent one in. I know, I know, I have to get past this fear of failure and finish one and send it off. I am working on that, I promise.